We went home to the U.S. last month. When you are standing in the line for U.S. customs in Dallas with your U.S. passport, you feel it. “I am home.”

Then we boarded a plane for Utah, our most recent home, and when we landed in the very familiar Salt Lake airport, I thought it again. “I am home.”

The very next day, we loaded up a borrowed minivan and drove home to Oregon, the place where I was raised. It is a long drive, and when I’m coming down the hill from the beautiful Lake of the Woods, I feel it again. “I am home.”

After a couple of weeks, we return to the home of Matt’s Utah childhood, a place I have loved and visited for 16 years. My heart feels at home here as well.

We visit our former house in Salt Lake City, attend the familiar church next door, amongst dear people whom we consider our brothers and sisters. My tears flow. “I am home.”

A three-week trip, too short really, and we are back on a plane, coming home to Chile. We are tired, we unpack, we make a mess that will take a week to clean up. And we are home.

Home seems a singular concept, but in ways that I don’t completely understand, my heart is in many places. Not just in memory, but in the present tense. It’s both uncomfortable and beautiful — the tug of many places where I’d love to be.

Still, here we are in Chile. And as much as we love and crave our families and friends and “home” in the U.S., in this moment home is here, in my own house, with all of us under our own roof. It is a comfort beyond all of the others, and I don’t even want to go anywhere this week, just be here together. “I am home.”


6 thoughts on “home

  1. Carla

    Home is so special – no matter how long you are gone, you can always come back! It might not be the same but the memories and people make home what home was meant to be.

  2. Tiffanie

    This is such a beautiful post Liz! I totally understand and know how you feel – home is mostly where my kids and husband are, but as we meet new people and live in more places, we have more and more people that we love like family and as we travel with our husband and kids those “I’m Home” moments can happen in lots of places. :)

  3. Robin

    As they say, “Home is where the heart is.” Your heart has been in many places, who says you have to pick just one! Beautiful post!

  4. Emily

    I really love this, Liz.
    So true and very beautifully put.

    And I think you are so brave to do all that traveling alone. Well done!

  5. Anne

    OK so I’m lame and behind on your blog. I so totally get this post. Every time we drive up Elm Ave my breath catches in my chest and I feel that ‘home’ feeling. Which, of course, I also feel here (and in Rocky River and Kirtland and…) And it’s a hard feeling to reconcile. Because it’s all so mutually exclusive. I am happy here, but long for Utah still. And if I lived there, I would long for here. Sigh…


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