at what point did it get this bad?

I remember growing up my mom would occasionally burn or otherwise ruin something she was cooking, and I would think, “What’s so hard about following a recipe?  Or getting the cookies out when the timer goes off?”  It wasn’t until adulthood that I realized what a truly fantastic cook she is.  And it wasn’t until I had children that I understood why she had occasionally become distracted enough to ruin the project….

I was in the mood to make cookies this afternoon, not because I had nothing else to do (see previous post), but more because I was out of good candy (might as well be honest about these things).  I found a fun recipe here, which seemed somewhat more nutritious than the typical — not health food, as they’re full of sugar and fat, but with lots of protein and fiber from nuts and oats.

I mixed them up, and was only somewhat concerned when the dough didn’t hold together as well as typical cookie dough.  After all, they contained a lot of chunky stuff — oats, peanuts, and chocolate chips.  My scoop made even little balls, I baked the first batch for the prescribed length of time, and here is what I got:

 chunky-cookies.jpg

They didn’t look exactly like the picture on the recipe, but still appeared appealing and chunky.  Once cool, they tasted really good too, but there was one little problem.  Completely crumbly, to the point that the only possible method of eating one involved putting an entire cookie in my mouth at once — trying, but I managed.  Could I break them up and sprinkle them over ice cream?

The second pan of fifteen cookies was in the oven when it hit me.  I had left out the eggs.  I had made chunky oatmeal chocolate chip peanut butter shortbread!  Only drier.

This was a big batch of dough, so I thought I’d better try to salvage it.  I added two eggs and a teaspoon of vanilla (forgot that too), and after a lot of stirring, popped in another pan of fifteen cookies.  Here is what I got:

 flat-cookies.jpg

Remember that math major of mine?  Why did it not occur to me that I had already used nearly half the dough, and therefore addition of two eggs would make the dough far too wet?  By the time these had cooled, Matt was home and he kindly scraped them off the pan.  Could we crumble them over ice cream?

There was still enough dough left for a couple of dozen cookies, and I wisely (doesn’t this all make you think I’m so wise?) added some flour to it until it looked like a normal cookie dough texture.  I put a pan full in the oven and left the kitchen (never leave the kitchen!) to help Sam with a homework assignment.  I’m sure you can guess what happened next.  I got them out before the smoke detector started to wail, but they were several shades past golden brown.  Don’t worry, I still ate them.

 brown-cookies.jpg

I thought I’d redeem myself tonight after everyone had gone to bed.  I was folding laundry and watching late-night talk shows, so I put the last little bit of dough in the oven.  Then (critical error), I returned to the basement to wait (remember, never leave the kitchen!).  Um, yeah.  They were black.

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13 thoughts on “at what point did it get this bad?

  1. robinbl

    HA HA HA! Who hasn’t had a kitchen disaster that they’ve tried to salvage, only to make it even worse. I think the chunky shortbread actually sounded kind of good. But I think the funniest part about this is that you documented each and every step with your camera. Did you do that because you were hoping you could actually manage to salvage a decent cookie, or because you knew in your heart that it would just end up making a great story to tell on your blog?

    Reply
  2. kate

    It’s totally a great story!! And who hasn’t tried to salvage a terribly gone wrong kitchen endeavor? I totally have! and you know what, I’ve had chocolate chip cookies turn out way flatter then that (it’s possible), it was a giant sheet of cookie gone bad. But you know what, the guys still ate it. I don’t know why!

    Reply
  3. Sarah R

    When Doug nd I ere first married, I read a recipe wrong, and ccoked some wings at 450 instead of 350 … for 3 hours! I still haven’t lived that one down! You are way more patient than me. I thin I would have given up after the first batch!

    Reply
  4. sillyjillybean

    Liz, I made cookies this week and the true reason was because our candy supply is non-existent! Thanks for your honesty! And every single thing you did wrong I have done on countless recipes. Thanks for joining my club, if but for one recipe.

    Reply
  5. Danielle

    This made me laugh! sorry. You should ask Anne sometime about some of my cooking mishaps. It would really make you feel better.

    Reply
  6. Emily Y

    I loved this little peek into your life! Thanks, it made me laugh! Who hasn’t had disasters in the kitchen? It seems like every day for me.

    Reply
  7. Holly Davies

    That was a great story! A I agree with Robin – you must have sensed that a great post was in the works – hence the pictures of the cookies at each step! It’s good you can laugh at yourself.

    Reply
  8. Emily

    Oh! I hate to see a good batch of cookies wasted…glad you still ate them. And yeah, this has happened to me many times (now I stick with one tried and true choc chip recipe that turns out every time.)

    Reply
  9. Richard Simmons

    Honey lift up those spirits and hold your head up high because you and I know you are an AMAZING chef! You go girl!

    Reply
  10. Cookie Monster

    C is for Cookie that’s good enough for me. Me wants some COOKIES! NUM NUM NUM!……Me sorry these cookies are GROSS!

    Reply

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